Fear of commitment or failure? Which is it?

     So this week has been Week 1 of my marathon training plan and I have been so nervous about it. After doing the 5k and 10k program, I couldn't figure out why it was bothering me so bad. Its not like this was my first training plan. I understand that my body will progressively get stronger and be ready for the distance. Of course, this is a lot more distance and more time which made me think I was just scared of the commitment to a 20 week program with a half marathon and the Critz Tybee Run weekend all riding on me completing this program.
     Luckily this morning I had lots of time to think. First of all, for those of you who don't know me, I'm married with a child and I've been completely motivated on this weight loss journey that I know is not going to be quick or easy so really why would I be afraid to commit to this. So far I've been so excited about everything why is this fear creeping up now. Somewhere around mile 3 as I was climbing this TERRIBLE hill, I realized that I'm most scared of is failure. There are so many people that are cheering me on or that I've inspired to start their own journey that I can't not make it. Not only would I let all of those people down, even worse I would let myself, my husband, and my son down. Then of course, there are the people who talk about me and hope I fail and they definitely aren't getting the satisfaction of that happening.
     After all that analyzing, I decided that I've got to let myself off the hook a little bit to succeed. I can't even think about the possibility of failing because its not an option. Even if marathon training would go wrong, it wouldn't be a failure on my part. I still have a lot of weight to lose and I'm being very brave and optimistic to even try a program this difficult. If I struggle, I will do what I can and keep going. Only quitting would be a failure. I love how great I feel and how much more energy I have that this lifestyle is here to stay. I've enjoyed setting goals to keep me motivated and pushing forward but I have to continue to think about all my accomplishments this far and realize I have the rest of my life to reach these running goals as long as I keep going. And I will because nothing is more important to me than getting healthy.

Thanks for reading and until next time.... Just keep going!

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In the beginning...

     I started this journey in March of 2013. At that time, I weighed 241 lbs after gaining the majority of the weight during my pregnancy and having a sedentary lifestyle afterwards. Many years ago, I was a soccer player in high school and very active. I missed that. I missed not being exhausted after moving around for 10 minutes. Right before my son's 3rd birthday, I decided something had to change. I need to be able to play with him and keep up with him. I need to promote healthy habits so that he doesn't go through this. I had a great friend who had been losing weight who inspired me to start. I started walking and at that time it took me 26 minutes to walk 1 mile on a treadmill (if this is you now, trust me it gets better). I kept pushing through and lost 16 lbs in 2 months. I wanted to kick it up a notch so I started the Couch to 5k by active.com and doing all of my running outdoors. Amazing program! I went at my own pace, repeated workouts as necessary and was so successful. I also fell in love with running! I continued my running with the 5k to 10k program by active.com. I love that these programs have smart phone apps because there are intervals it is great to have a voice tell you what to do and when instead of watching time or distance.
     I also changed my diet. My husband has been amazingly supportive jumping on board with the new menu. I started eating healthy and as clean as possible. I still have sweets but just not as often and in smaller amounts. I eat when I'm hungry but stay away from bored/emotional snacking. I will talk more about nutrition later.
      I love sharing my journey with people. I am now a little over 6 months in and have lost 43 lbs. I hope that you will follow my posts and find it helpful. Please feel free to share your own journey and ask questions if you have any. Until the next post, God bless.

Don't be afraid to chase your dreams... Just start running.