Fear of commitment or failure? Which is it?

     So this week has been Week 1 of my marathon training plan and I have been so nervous about it. After doing the 5k and 10k program, I couldn't figure out why it was bothering me so bad. Its not like this was my first training plan. I understand that my body will progressively get stronger and be ready for the distance. Of course, this is a lot more distance and more time which made me think I was just scared of the commitment to a 20 week program with a half marathon and the Critz Tybee Run weekend all riding on me completing this program.
     Luckily this morning I had lots of time to think. First of all, for those of you who don't know me, I'm married with a child and I've been completely motivated on this weight loss journey that I know is not going to be quick or easy so really why would I be afraid to commit to this. So far I've been so excited about everything why is this fear creeping up now. Somewhere around mile 3 as I was climbing this TERRIBLE hill, I realized that I'm most scared of is failure. There are so many people that are cheering me on or that I've inspired to start their own journey that I can't not make it. Not only would I let all of those people down, even worse I would let myself, my husband, and my son down. Then of course, there are the people who talk about me and hope I fail and they definitely aren't getting the satisfaction of that happening.
     After all that analyzing, I decided that I've got to let myself off the hook a little bit to succeed. I can't even think about the possibility of failing because its not an option. Even if marathon training would go wrong, it wouldn't be a failure on my part. I still have a lot of weight to lose and I'm being very brave and optimistic to even try a program this difficult. If I struggle, I will do what I can and keep going. Only quitting would be a failure. I love how great I feel and how much more energy I have that this lifestyle is here to stay. I've enjoyed setting goals to keep me motivated and pushing forward but I have to continue to think about all my accomplishments this far and realize I have the rest of my life to reach these running goals as long as I keep going. And I will because nothing is more important to me than getting healthy.

Thanks for reading and until next time.... Just keep going!